I don’t want to sound presumptuous, but for the longest time I kinda felt like using code to create art was kind’ve some penultimate way forward. I really tried to push that, and I do believe that some of the work laid out by practitioners going before us, its really great, moral work. And the history of it fascinates me. Coding *should* be easier, it should be available to all and I have really high hopes for its future.

But after about 5 years of pushing that envelope, I really feel like I have to admit to myself that I’m not a coder in the current manifestation of what programming is. Sure, I can tinker, I can play, but I don’t think I’ll ever reach the grandiose visions I have inside my head, with programming. And if anything, it restricts me. And this did come from a conflict inside me, which was realtime versus rendered, timeline versus non-linear, static versus reactive. People have kinda told me this before, that it wasn’t for me, that I wasn’t a programmer. Well I guess I had to be stubborn and go figure it out myself. And code is important, you always need a little of it here and there these days.

So I don’t really know what’s coming up next for me, but I do know it wont be through some abstract process. It’ll be direct, like a pencil on a page, an actor on a stage, fingers on keys. Things I can see and think and do with, instantly.

I guess thats the mind I was born with. Coz if I think back, to High School and even before, the abstraction of math and things that were supposed to represent other things always fucked me. The thing I got the most was the thing in front of me, and if you poked it – it poked back.

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